To a dear friend on her wedding day

Dearest Urszula,

Today you get married! I welcome you into the club of globe-trotting, mixed heritage married couples. 

It's club filled with people who decided that their love outweighed the challenges they'd face: differing expectations, ever-present communication problems, hard decisions about places (where to live? who to visit?), names (change it or not? baby names that everyone is happy with?), and so much more. You've met with some of those challenges already, but trust me, more are on their way. Mixed couples have it hard, and many things that wouldn't be a struggle if you married the boy down the street will crop up as major speed bumps to get over. 

So why do we do it? Why are there ever more people joining this club full of arguments and tears and misunderstandings? Why are you doing so today?

Because.

Because the love that drew you to this man, so different from you in so many ways (yet so alike in others), feels stronger than any you could have for anyone else.

Because the struggles that we face as mixed couples truly only do make us stronger, and solidify the bonds that we started forging years ago.

Because mixed couples go into marriage with their eyes wide open, knowing they'll have to fight for their love. And sometimes that makes all the difference.

Because the richness that your partner will bring to your life (yes it will increase!) will come in many forms: new places and foods, new languages to conquer, new points of view to understand, new realizations and greater empathy. He will be by your side through those experiences and help you make sense of them and see the beauty in them. 

Because you'll get to do the same for him.

Because your table will be filled with foods from differing corners of the earth (and I know you like to eat).

Because like attracts like, and the other mixed couples you'll meet in upcoming years will be among the most interesting and compassionate people you'll ever know. And you'll immediately be drawn to them, and they to you, and you'll be able to discuss all those struggles and hardships with your new friends, and they will understand like no one else can. They are the rocks you'll learn to lean on. Because couples need couple friends. And again, the richness of your life will multiply.

Because mixed couples make beautiful babies, who grow up with empathy and a unique perspective, who grow up multilingual, multicultural, and as true citizens of the world.

There are so many reasons that this club is a good place to be. I've only been in it for three years and have seen what incredible joy it has brought me. I'm so happy that, starting today, it will bring you the same. Welcome.

International Women's Day

Yesterday was International Women's Day, which is a pretty big deal outside of the US. Here in Casa women were offered free movie tickets, deals at stores, prizes, flowers and so on all around the city. Of course the commercial aspect isn't the important part of the day, but rather celebrating all that women do and recognizing their contribution to society. However, I work at an American school, so it was just a routine day for us one way or another, which I found a bit disappointing since there is so much to be said for this day.

But then I got home later that evening to this display from my lovely husband:

After explaining that all the chocolate was because he forgot to get flowers (oh he knows me well!), he proceeded to bake me a French-style strawberry pie! Given the ingredients, it's basically a cheesecake with a pie crust underneath and strawberries on top, and wow is it delicious! I especially love the artistry he displayed in its assembly:

Thank you Othman, for being a lovely, thoughtful husband, and taking the time to make me feel special!

Christmas makes its appearance

As we'll be going to France for the holidays, I decided to decorate a little early this year, to be able to be reminded of the Christmas season a little longer chez nous. Living in a Muslim country means holiday decorations are generally limited to the malls and some big department stores we rarely go to. In some ways this is more pleasant than the overwhelming inundation of all things holiday in the States, but it does feel pretty sparse. So we make our own holiday cheer!

I believe we'll to have to graduate to a bigger tree next year, with all the ornaments we have (these aren't all!) but I don't mind overloading this little one. Its branches are sparse and bare and rather sad otherwise.

Decorating the tree this morning gave me time to consider each ornament. They come from friends and Christmas markets...

garage sales and thrift stores... 

(I got this one especially for O. the car enthusiast this summer.)

"normal" stores...

and family!

They hail from the States, Morocco, and France, and each brings joy, comfort and warmth. 

Wishing you all a happy and peaceful holiday season!

A party fit for a prince

 Last Sunday Othman and I attended a party in honor of his cousin Hind's first baby. Little Jalil, now 6 months old, is the first in his generation of babies, and was the prince of the party! I had certainly never been to such a party before, so for those of you not familiar with Moroccan culture this will be an interesting post!

From the very beginning there was a band playing, and the aunties clapped and danced to the music...

along with the proud new grandma!

I took a moment to snap a few family photos of O with his two siblings...

and with his sister and mom!

Around the room, the finery was fine,

and there were waiters and videographers and a full, live band.

Pretty soon Hind and Othmane (same name, different spelling, different guy) paraded in with baby Jalil.

Momma and baby looked amazingly relaxed and at ease as they were carried on the shoulders of four women who danced as they paraded in front of the many guests.

Layers and textures underneath the above scene:

I love this sweet mother-son moment:

The little boys watched entranced...

while more dancing and clapping ensued...

This little princess had the time of her life...

but her more timid cousin wasn't quite as impressed.

Little Jalil shared a few special moments with his great-grandfather,

and the little family posed with Hind's twin siblings.

We wish all health and happiness to this beautiful little family!

A very American vacation

As mentioned in the last post, Othman is in South Dakota for a two week vacation! 

We've been doing all sorts of very American things since he's been here. Like having Norman Rockwell-esque family dinners. Compare:

On the topic of food, he's also been introduced to the great American tradition of church potlucks. Plus he rediscovered his love of Culvers, and even went out to my favorite hole-in-the-wall-no-one-speaks-English Vietnamese restaurant with me. 

Vietnamese Pho!

He's been driving our '97 Toyota pickup truck running errands as well as my family members all over town, since he's one of the few in the house who can drive stick shift!

So that means he gets to do fun things like waiting in hot high school parking lots for my littlest sister!

With all this driving and with the big Midwestern skies we see lots of clouds, like this aptly shaped one we saw on our way to pick up my big brother from the airport.

It looked more like an airplane about 30 seconds previously, but my phone was slow.

He's also been practicing the great American sport of photobombing:

And the second great American sport of chopping firewood!

My brothers Gus and Thomas and their friend James were in charge of getting and chopping enough firewood for bonfires throughout our family reunion weekend. James performed the duties of resident expert and gave us all (including me!) lessons on how to chop effectively. It was such a satisfying feeling, and despite my sore arms I'm waiting eagerly for the next chopping session.

He also participated in the aforementioned family reunion that gathered all of my dad's family, complete with matching teeshirts. More on that later though. 

From brats to backyard bonfires, I think we're doing a pretty good job exposing my Moroccan boy to the best of the Midwest.

Art, photography and friends!

A few weeks ago Othman and I had plans to join up with some friends of ours, another mixed-nationality couple, and have a picnic in a forest close to Casablanca. When I got sick the day beforeand thus had to cancel I became quite frustrated, as I was really looking forward to hanging out with them. Once I got better we started planning again, but due to the daily rain we've been getting here in Casa we had to come up with a different outing. I asked how they'd feel about heading to the new Mohammed VI Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art in Rabat that was inaugurated a few months ago, and they agreed on making a day of it! So yesterday the four of us piled into our car and headed to Morocco's capital city.

We met Gioia and Driss at the first Pages event we went to, at which she told the story of how she ended up here, and then he played music with his fantastic band. (They're mentioned in my first post about Pages here!) 

A very cool picture of Gioia from the next Pages event- when I spoke!
Photo cred

Since then we've kept in touch and seen each other a couple times, and really enjoy spending time together. With our busy lives it's difficult to make time to help friendships grow, but it really is so important, and is something I've been pushing Othman and me to do recently. Gone are those university days when you become friends with people easily and almost by default, spending most of your time with them. As busy, working adults we have to make time and reasons to get together, and while it's a bit of a pain it's so rewarding!

Photo cred

Both Gioia and Driss and Othman and I had been talking separately of going to the museum for a while, as its opening caused quite a sensation and it has gotten lots of media attention. Museums are few and far between in Morocco and it's great to see more being built! It made a lot of sense, however, to go as a foursome because of our different approaches to art. Driss and Othman are Moroccan and didn't grow up in "museum cultures" as Gioia, an Italian, and I did. As a result she and I enjoyed discussing what we saw together as the boys had fun giggling at the pieces they didn't like as they lagged behind. The four of us had some very interesting conversations within the galleries talking about different ways of considering art and delving into why they had a harder time with some of it than we did. The talk ended up being educational for us all as we learned the others' perspectives!

Photo cred

While the new museum is supposed to be focused on modern art, its new exhibition (which was created in collaboration with the Louvre and will travel there afterwards) actually displays medieval Moroccan art from the 8th to 13th centuries. This is an interesting choice and is a testament to how museums are needed here—there really isn't another establishment able to house such an exhibit. I thought the juxtaposition was apt, however. Starting with the traditional and classic works of architectural, literary and functional art downstairs and then moving to the 20th century upstairs for the second half of our visit gave us perspective on how the second grew from the first. Tradition is of paramount importance in Moroccan society and while modern and contemporary artists are almost by definition moving away from tradition, in many ways its motifs and themes creep into their works. It was also good because the boys were more interested in that first part while Gioia and I appreciated the contemporary exhibit much more, which meant that there was a little something for everyone. We all left impressed with the museum's quality, despite a few missing labels and many explanations in the first exhibit being only in Arabic—but hey we're still in Morocco after all. I thought its size and scope were perfect: meaty enough not to be disappointing but very managable at the same time. And the entrance price means it's accessible to many!

One of the modern pieces we all loved.

Having arrived in Rabat quite a bit later than we meant to, for various reasons, we stayed until the museum closed and may well have been the last visitors to leave. We then headed to the coast not far away to enjoy the sunset and have some dinner. I whipped out my camera and went to town taking pictures. I’m not often in Rabat, and enjoyed seeing different views from what’s typical in Casablanca. We admired the sea and the architecture and found some cute snails to photograph too!

Not only am I not often in Rabat, but I’m also not often ready with my camera during twilight and at night, so I made the most of the opportunity to play with the settings and experiment a bit. I took advantage of the light of the setting sun behind the clouds and later on got some fabulous night shots.

As we headed down towards a bar-restaurant right on the beach I turned around and snapped this funny photo.

Inside we ordered a bunch of appetizers to share, as we talked and laughed all together. We took a few nice pictures as we waited, then tucked into some delicious seafood.

After eating we walked back up to the car and they laughed as I stopped every 20 meters or so to take pictures, but in the end I don’t think anyone minded too much, and I was happy with the results!

The drive down wasn’t short in time but felt so, as Driss and Othman laughed and joked in the front Gioia and I shared we’re-married-to-Moroccans stories in the back. Othman and I dropped them off at home with promises to get together for dinner soon, especially as we realized we all have the same tastes in dining out, down to a favorite restaurant in common! Thanks for a lovely day, Gioia and Driss, and see you both soon!